The late, great comedian George Carlin had a knack for taking things that everyone sees and pointing out their absurdity.
With apologies to Mr. Carlin, I had one of those today.
The horrific terrorist attack at an Orlando gay night club brought an outpouring of empathy and love for the victims and their families. Unfortunately, it also brought out the usual spewing of emotional rhetoric and politicians sensationalizing it for their own, self-serving motives.
This happens every time one of these tragedies occur. But this one involved a mass murder by a radical Islamist and the inevitable emotional cries against guns are vying for attention against similar diatribes against Muslims.
Here is the George Carlin Moment of Clarity.
Both sides are using the exact same irrational logic!
Both sides are using the exact same emotions and political rhetoric, and also their counterpart, logical fallacies.
Defenders of Islam point out that only 20% or so are radicalized and not all of them actually kill people in the name of Allah. Similarly, those defending the right to bear arms point out that less than 3% of legal gun owners commit murder. The number falls to something less than 1% if you add illegal weapons owners.
Both sides are logically correct to opine that we shouldn’t penalize the majority for the sins of the minority.
Then they immediately attack the majority of the other side.
Just to make things clear, we should use the same terminology for both. If we are going to use the term “Gun Control”, we should likewise use the term “Islam Control”. If that is too politically incorrect, let’s try a different approach. Both are freedoms guaranteed by the constitution, so let’s just call them Freedom Control. If we need to break them down for further identification, call them Freedom Control Part A and Freedom Control Part B…like Medicare. Everybody loves Medicare and that takes the inflammatory rhetoric out of the titles at least.
From now on, whenever we talk about Freedom Control Part A, we have to apply the same rules to Freedom Control Part B. Here are a few.
Murder – It is illegal to kill anyone with a gun in the name of a religion. (Apparently some people didn’t understand that the old murder law applied to using guns or religion. This should work much better.)
Mass Murder – See Murder.
Background Check – Anyone wishing to own a gun or become a Muslim is required to undergo a background check to assure they are not bat-shit crazy and have the mental capacity to safely use said gun or practice said religion.
Education – It is mandatory that everyone desiring to own a weapon or practice Islam must attend classroom and field courses to understand how their weapon works and religion really propounds, the requirements and restrictions necessary to use them in a responsible manner, and the dangers of shooting off guns or mouths in public places.
Concealed Carry – Subsequent to a background check and successful completion of required education, individuals may be authorized to carry a weapon concealed any place it is legal to carry a concealed Koran. This includes but is not limited to churches, schools, nightclubs, government buildings, national parks, and other public facilities. Private homes and other facilities not open to the general public may declare themselves off limit to guns and Islam but must carry liability insurance in the event someone willing to commit murder doesn’t care what you declare.
Registration – All gun owners and Muslims must be registered with the Federal government – or cannot be required to registered as long as the same applies to both equally. You decide. However, if you want to register all gun owners, you have to first register all illegal gun possessors before registering any legal gun owners. If you want to register all Muslims, you first have to register all radical Muslims before registering any non-radical Muslims. Please give me a little advanced notice when you decide to do this. I want to have my camera ready.
These rules have a certain yin and yang preventative or self-correcting quality. In the rare event that someone thinks about overzealously practicing Islam with a gun in say, a gay night club, knowing that the majority of its denizens will be simultaneously practicing their rights of self-preservation may cause reflection and his own moment of clarity on the true value of virgins. If not, return fire should reduce the loss of innocent lives and hasten his journey to said deceased virgins.